"Bass thoda aage tak..."

Among the many things I find weird about me...one is that though I just can't ask for a hitch no matter how hot the sun may be...when I am on my bike/car, unless I'm at 80 kmph + or something...I almost never miss a stretched out hand for a lift. No pretty gal ever takes the same route on foot when I am out on the road...is a different thing, but lets not digress!

Today on my way back from someplace, I noticed this tiny little thing...hardly 6yr old boy, barefoot and that typical khadi colour school bag on his back...at the other end of the crossing I was passing through. I can't quite recall clearly if the kid had his hand out to stop anyone who'd give him a ride...but I somehow decided to slow down as I neared him. Finally...when I did stop my bike, about 10-15 mtrs ahead of where he was standing, the young chap looked around to see if indeed I had stopped for him and then only when I nodded at him through my helmet did he start running towards me. I wonder why he was so fast...not as if someone else was gonna snatch his ride?!??! Anyway...he confirmed once more...waiting for me to nod again…before making his first of 4 attempts to sit on the rear seat. Finally when he got in the position I remembered that the silencer would be really hot and should the boy's feet touch it...but thankfully...things were ok. My pillion rider was so tiny that he could not have managed to reach the silencer even if he tried!

Finally I shifted gears and with a slight jolt...started again...

Now something I had assumed in this case was that the lil chap would have made himself comfortable and there was nothing to worry about him. The truth in fact was that the poor thing was hopelessly disbalanced and every now and then I'd find two tiny hand looking for a grip...Every time he would touch me...he'd immidiately withdraw...thinking I might not approve of it...but on the very next turning I'd again find his two tiny hands clinging on to my belt/waist with all their strength. Then...again...as if out of guilt...he'd suddenly pull back and go on with his balancing act. When this happened for 3-4 times I took one hand of the bar and held one of his hands on my waist, in a way signaling to him that it was okay to hold on to me if he needs to. He was only too happy to oblige.

Anyone whose seen the young one of a monkey clinging on to his Mamma's tummy would know what I am saying when I say that we were almost like that on the bike...the only difference was that...this lil chap was clinging on the back! And yeah neither of were monkeys either!

Whenever there was a jolt...I'd pray that my "cargo" lands safely back on the back side and considering that I was on a patch of road where one literally had to climb in-and-out of pot-holes, I am glad he always managed a high precision landing! From the giggles I could make out that my lil friend was quite enjoying the whole thing. Sometimes when I'd overtake another vehicle, I'd notice his one hand coming off me. A few times later I found out that...the free hand was being made into a "thumbs-down" for the traffic we left behind.

He sure was having fun!

Finally...he tapped me to a halt. There were other "samples" of the same dimensions as my "cargo"...I guess waiting for their comrade...who'd jus joined them. After much difficulty when the tiny thing got off the bike...he gave me an ear-to-ear "thank you soooooooo much" smile and waved at me. As I rode on...I jus managed to catch that there was a hint of royalty in my new friends walk as he strode towards his gang...of course...while others had come in a 6-seater auto-rickshaw or "tuk-tuk" as we call it here, this dude jus got off a bike! He was the man-of-the-moment! And his tiny pals were too happy to acknowledge it...

There was something that couldn't quite understand though. Every time the bike slowed down...the kid would shout from behind "...bas thoda aage tak.." (jus a little ahead). Why?!?! Then it struck me...the kid could never see why I'm slowing down…from where he was behind me...so every time the bike slowed...he must’ve assumed I was about to ask him to get off...

Quite a cute lil thing he was...

Three Cheers For Innocence...

One of the first things that I do when I'm playing with a newborn is to gently blow air at his face; the reaction that follows is quite adorable. My mother tells me that I used to spend hours at a stretch staring at my hands when I was a baby. Quite a "convenient" baby I must have been I guess...no toys n danglers required, keeping myself occupied with something as dumb as gazing at my own hands...

I wouldn't have sat down to write this post coz' I am often so disconnected by it’s theme. Innocence...quite an indefinable term I must say. Though it pops straight into your face when you least expect it to be. One of my close relatives is holding a senior post in a company based overseas and has to make frequent trips for work. The younger child, 3 yr old motor-mouth of a gal often complains to her Dad that he never takes her to the park and so on. One evening when I was visiting them, she was dragging onto my uncle for the same thing. My uncle was on his way to a meeting and gently told the child, "...bete mere paas time nahi hai." (child...I don't have the time...) and then the lil cousin of mine said something quite remarkable. She said, "...koi baat nahi Papa...mere se le lo..." (that's not an issue Dad...take some from me) The words hit us and most of all…my uncle…not coz’ of anything else but the innocence of the little child. Children have that gift.

Somewhere along the way…we are told not to trust other people and every act of ours is more often than not a “pre-rehearsed” one. The idea of saying or doing the first thing that comes to mind is quite frankly…unthinkable. I am not saying that it’s “innocent” to grab the first pretty gal that comes across…that’s mis-placed affection, better known as lust! But what’s the harm in a simple smile? But then you never know what brand of pervert you are branded as for a simple act as a genuine smile. Hence, we all walk with a plastic face with extra control points for not letting that one odd genuine expression from showing itself! It’s all as per a game plan…

As I say this…I know that it is easier said than done to keep innocence intact in the times when taking a ride is ill-advised for gals by cops coz’ you never know when suit-clad smooth guy at the wheel takes that turn to an isolated spot. It’s a fact…trust has never been more difficult, yet it hurts to see everyone walking with their “guards up”…coz’ we might spend the entire lives, never having met the real person behind it.

Still…it’s nothing short of a breeze of fresh air to come across some act of somebody or something said by somebody, that just makes you smile out of the simple joy of finding out that it still exists. That innocence hasn’t breathed it’s last. Not yet…

Or else what would you say about a 22yr old confident and smart gal looking at her hands and saying with a sigh, “…mere hath toh 5th class ke baad badhna hi ruk gaye…” (…after class 5th, my hands just stopped growing…)

PS: Questions about the identity of the gal in the last para shall be heartlessly stonewalled…

It Wasn’t Me…They Did It…

Who doesn’t like their peers coming up and shaking hands after you have achieved something good or won some thing etc? I am no different.

I don’t know for sure if it’s coz’ I have too much spare time on my hands due to the lull in the college activities post-placements or coz’ I’m a forced-single (girlfriend out of town) but I have been doing quite a lot of reflection these days. I am bad with names…I mean, how embarrassing it is when someone spots you from across the street on a busy Saturday evening and then rushes to greet you by name and all you can come up with is a…”Hi…(pause to think for the last time what his/her name was)…how are things?”

But there are some…I can never forget. The other day, I got a call from an old friend of mine from junior school who I had lost touch after coming to Pune for my MBA. Being congratulated by someone I regarded as one of my biggest rivals at one time made me swell with pride. I guess there was a hint of arrogance creeping in too. Just a bit. However, it only lasted till the time I slipped into my bed that night…

As I lay there thinking how I had reached here, one by one all the people started coming to my mind that shaped this dream for me. I can still distinctly remember coming out of the maths exam in my 10th boards and matter-of-factly telling my friend that I’d score a 94 on 100…coz’ I had left a 6mks question! Mr. M. Balasubramniam, my maths tutor had given me that confidence. I was never a natural at maths but he made me a master at it (P.S. I am no great shakes at it now though!). In class 3rd or 4th, at a PTA meeting, the only one probably that my Mom & Dad both attended, Mrs. Camphor had declared without any hint of emotion, that I was suffering from “acute rascalitis”, in a lay man’s term, it meant I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut in class! But Mrs. Camphor spent hours clarifying my stupid doubts. She never gave up on me despite me beiing...well...ME! I can never forget the way she looked at me with pride when I went to meet her while was working, as if she was admiring a piece of her work. She was…in fact doing just that!

Advanced Data Structures was supposed to be a tough paper during my BIT at Delhi University. We had a teacher named, Mrs. Anuja Agarwal for the subject and she was brilliant at it. One time, when I had really bombed in an internal exam coz’ I hadn’t studied…just for kicks…she met me and said, “…If you are getting such marks, I think I should reconsider teaching the subject…” I aced the final paper.

During MBA, I met some of the finest teachers ever. If Mr. Prantosh has an uncanny knack of getting the point across, Mr. G.D. Apte would take you through his professional (at times personal…and really hilarious) experiences in a manner that would not only do justice to the subject at hand but would give you an insight or two into the real world. “At some point in life, define a concept of ENOUGH for yourself”, another amazing teacher, Mr. Ranjan Banejree said this line and I don’t think I’d ever forget it. One way or the other, they all left a mark.

I am sorry if this post looks more like an “Acknowledgement” than anything else. It’s not.

Because the correct word is “GRATITUDE"...

It’s Usually All Grey…

I don’t know if it’s the fact that I was born under a sign that enjoys debates and discussions or is it the so-called questioning attitude that I have always had that makes me get into all these conflicts and debates with myself. Either ways, I enjoy them quite a bit.

I can’t even think of all the infinite times when any of us would have gone on discussing stuff ranging from the “true meaning” of life (love is also a popular one) to how we were so dreamy in our last relationship(s) or if the career choice we have made is the right one or not, did JLo do the right thing by insuring her legs so and so forth. Basically, there aren’t topics left that we haven’t dissected or over-analysed sometime or the other. And if you’ve been in a hostel…multiply the topics and the depth of discussion by ‘n’. Vague or serious…there have been all kinds!

How these discussions end is also quite interesting if you look at it. There’s the classic way of one or all of the participants passing out due an “xtra-happy-booze-party”, then there’s one or more of the people walking out coz’ “they’ve-had-enough”, or when one of your roomie reminds you of the early morning class, or when an “un-wanted” person enters the room / discussion and does not understand the hint that “Sir…please f***-off”, and then of course there’s the all time favourite, “lets-believe-what-we-each-want-to” approach when the discussion gets a bit too heated or we all loose interest coz’ it dragged too much.

Personally, I do enter into the discussion with a viewpoint of my own but it’s not the “last word” for me. I’d be lying if I say there haven’t been times when stuff that I was so damn convinced about was brought in front of me by someone else with a completely new flavour that I had to take a step backwards and re-think on my fundas. Quite frankly, I guess I have taken a lot back from these sessions which I have had with everyone from my closest of friends to teachers to someone I just bumped in the bus, just about anyone in fact...

I can still re-call a class of one of our professors who said that no matter what we say, all of us have a price we can sell our values for. What I had never understood earlier was that the word “price” was not just a synonym for money alone. The example of which that he gave still ties me up in knots!

However, the most important thing that all these discussions and long chats have done for me is that I no longer view things at being just this or just that. I mean…there are a plethora of fundas that I have about stuff…all kind of stuff. But I no longer have them engraved on a slab of granite till time immemorial like some kind of Gospel truth. I have slowly but surely begun to understand that it’s not all that clear cut. I guess that’s what time does to you if you are student to all that comes with it. It makes you realize that there are in fact...very few things in life that are either black or white...

It’s usually all grey…